how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
