i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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