soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
