Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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