Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
