He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
