sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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