white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
