Are we in a gay sports bar?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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