HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
