Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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