What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
