She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
