Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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