either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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