He is an equal opportunity slut.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
