I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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