Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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