i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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