I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
