The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
