Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
