Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
