My room smells like vodka and shame
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
