hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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