the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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