Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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