I wish life had little blips of pornography
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
