My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize