Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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