Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
