who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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