I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
