The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize