I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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