need another drink. this is the easiest way
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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