My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
