you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
