I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
high people should be assigned attendants
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
