she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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