well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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