Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
