i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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