once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
