Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
