that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
