Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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