you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
