problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
