so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
