so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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