thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
