Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
