i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
