whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
as a side note pls kill me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
