I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
