dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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