The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i've created a new STD.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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